Lost and Found
by WishIWasLea
Summary: Finn and Rachel have been happily living in New York for 2 years, Rachel at NYADA, Finn struggling to find a job. But when a traumatic event causes Rachel to detach and lash out, will their love be enough to keep them together? SEQUEL TO FORBIDDEN
1. Chapter 1

**You wanted a sequel to Forbidden, here it is. :) I can't promise it will be great, and some of you might want to kill me during the first few chapters ;) but I'm going to try to keep writing, I need something to keep me sane when school starts in a couple weeks. JUNIOR YEAR WOO. :) anyway, I hope you enjoy this first chapter, and review if you want me to post the next one. **

* * *

Rachel just finished putting on her lipstick when she noticed the time. Finn was still in bed, they were going to be late.

"FINN." She yelled at her fiancé of 2 years. She peaked out of the bathroom door to see he hadn't even budged. She let out a frustrated sigh and walked over to their bed, her heels clicking loudly on the hardwood the whole way there.

"Finn wake up! We're going to be late!" She smacked his butt hoping to wake him up a little.

He didn't move.

"Finn Hudson, WAKE UP RIGHT NOW. We need to go, I have a class to get to and you have an interview."

He groaned at her, slightly cracking his eyes open. "What." He mumbled.

"Finn, sweetie, we need to go. NOW GET YOUR ASS OUT OF BED." She tensely walked out of the room and into the bright kitchen where her coffee was waiting to be finished. She sipped on the hot drink she had become slightly addicted to since moving to New York. She heard Finn walk in moments later and saw he was fully dressed and struggling with his tie. She chuckled a bit. He never did figure out how to finish the loop on his tie.

"Come here. I'll do it." She said softly.

"Sorry I didn't wake up on time, I took a sleeping pill last night. You were snoring pretty loud." He grinned.

"I don't snore!" She insisted.

"We've been living together for 2 years. Accept it baby, you snore."

Rachel sighed because she knew it was true but would never admit it to him. She was just too stubborn. She tightened his tie and straightened his collar, kissing his cheek before going back to her coffee.

"You drink way too much of that stuff. Your teeth are gonna turn yellow. It's simple science." He smirked.

"Last I checked, you weren't a science teacher. And anyway, that's what dentists and teeth whitening is for."

He went over to her and slipped his arms around her waist, leaning down to kiss her neck. He kissed a trail from beneath her ear down to her shoulder, sucking the skin there, and she was trying to resist the urge to moan. She was still peeved about the snoring thing and didn't feel like giving him the satisfaction.

"Um. We...we're going to.. We're gonna be late." She managed to finish her sentence.

"Yeah but you have another class tomorrow just like this one. And what's the point of going to this interview, they're just going to turn me down like everyone else. No one wants to hire someone that "preys on teenagers."" Finn said, slightly annoyed. Variations of that phrase had been uttered at every previous interview he had been to and he was pretty tired of it.

"You don't "prey on teenagers"! How can they even say that? Our situation is completely unique. They can't just assume you're a pervert or something."

"Yeah, they can Rach. I hooked up with a student. That's that."

"You also proposed to that student and have been in a committed relationship with that student for over 2 and a half years."

"Well they don't care about that. Every interview and meeting I've gone to has ended the same way. They don't want someone like me in their schools."

"Someone like you? Someone that's great at their job, loves teaching, works harder than anyone else at the school, makes kids actually want to show up to school because they actually enjoy being in your classroom? They don't want someone like that?"

"They don't want someone who sexualizes children."

"But you don't do that! We were in love, we couldn't help that I was still in school. How can they just look past the fact that we're still together!? I wasn't just some slutty school girl."

"Rach, baby calm down ok? It's fine. I'll find something eventually. If they can't accept the fact that we fell in love and it was completely legal but just sucky timing, then I don't want to work for them anyway." He leaned down to kiss her and she reciprocated halfheartedly. Finn felt liquid drip on his face and looked down to see Rachel crying.

"Hey, what's wrong?"

"This is my fault. You can't get a job and it's my fault. I shouldn't have gone after you. You were my teacher, I should've known it was too complicated and left you alone." She cried against him, soaking his shirt.

"Whoa whoa, Rachel. Stop. This is not your fault. If you remember, I pursued you too. I could've stopped it at any point. But I didn't, because I love you. I wouldn't change anything. I'll get a job eventually. Please stop crying, you know I can't handle it when you cry." He held her close and rubbed her shoulders as she sniffled, trying to calm herself down.

"You're right, I'm sorry. I wouldn't have done anything differently."

He smiled down at her and pushed her hair out of her face and behind her ears. "I love you." He said.

"Love you too." She leaned up and kissed him forcefully.

"Ok, we need to go."

"All right, I'll meet you after class. You're gonna do great, I know it." She grinned at him.

"I'll try to get this one." They both laughed.

"That would be good." She chuckled on their way out the door.

...

Rachel walked into the lecture room for her music theory class. She sat down in her usual seat and waited for her friends to show up and join her. She wasn't sure she would make it through the whole class. Ever since she left the apartment, she felt sick. She had cheated on her vegan diet and had pizza with Finn last night, and she was sure her nausea was do to all the grease. This was exactly why she didn't put all that crap in her body. It was just plain unhealthy.

"Hey girl." She heard her friend Mercedes say behind her as she sat down.

"Hi Mercedes."

"Wow, you look kinda green, are you ok?" She asked worriedly.

"Yeah, just a little nauseous. I had pizza last night and it's not really agreeing with me."

"That's what you get for cheating."

"Wait, who's cheating on who? Berry, are you cheating on that wanky teacher of yours? Never thought I'd see the day, you're usually such a good girl." Their friend Santana walked up and winked at Rachel.

"No Lopez, she cheated on her diet and now she feels sick. Why is everything sexual with you?"

"Why is everything boring with you? Seriously girl, you need to get laid. Then you'll know why the word libido is in my everyday vocabulary." Santana smirked.

"How is Finn anyway? Has he found a job yet?" Mercedes asked.

"He's great. And no he hasn't found a job, but he's actually at an interview right now, so hopefully it goes well."

"God Berry, you're so domestic. I couldn't handle settling down so fast. I want to experience everything and everyone I can." She smirked.

"I am completely committed and very satisfied in my relationship with Finn. And when I say satisfied, I do mean in every aspect of the relationship." Rachel smirked at her wide-eyed Latina friend.

"Well the guy is huge, I guess it makes sense that every part of him would match that description." The girls laughed and Rachel blushed. She felt another wave of nausea come over her. She ran to the trash can and emptied the contents of her stomach very noisily.

"Ok girl, you need to go home. You're really sick. Come on, I'll help you get a taxi."

The girls walked Rachel down to the busy street and said goodbye before going back into the building. She decided she should probably let Finn know she was going home.

He picked up on the 4th ring. "Hey baby, what's up?"

"I just wanted to tell you that I'm going home. I threw up at school. I think it was that stupid pizza you made me eat."

"Hey babe, you're the one that put the food in your mouth. I didn't make you eat it," he chuckled. "But I'm sorry you're not feeling good. You want me to come home?"

"No, I'll be ok. Honestly I already feel a little better. You need to finish your interview."

"Well I won't be home for a while, there's like 7 people ahead of me for this interview. I guess there's more teachers than there are teaching jobs. Stupid recession."

Rachel laughed. "That's ok. I'll be fine on my own. You stay there and beat those other teachers for me ok? You're better than all of them."

He laughed. "Thanks babe, and I'll try. They do all look fresh out of college, maybe my experience will put me ahead. Get home safe ok? I love you. So much."

"I love you too. Bye baby."

...

She got home and flung herself on the couch, pulling an afghan over her chilled body. She started to close her eyes when she heard a knock on the door.

Rachel was too tired to get off the couch. "WHO IS IT."

The door handle shifted unexpectedly and she heard a key turning the lock. She was scared for a second, knowing Finn couldn't have finished that quickly, until she saw familiar blonde hair that she knew belonged to one Quinn Fabray.

"Hey neighbor." She grinned at Rachel. "Finn called me and said you weren't feeling so hot. He asked me to come take care of you."

"Oh, Quinn you don't have to do that. Really I'm fine, you can go back to your apartment."

"You don't look fine. Really it's no big deal, I'll just chill here until Finn gets home. But if you don't mind, I need to go get Beth. I don't want her alone over there for that long."

Rachel sighed. "Of course I don't mind. I love having Beth over here."

The blonde woman went next door to grab her 2 year old daughter. She returned with the little girl on her hip, snuggling into her mother.

"All right baby, we're gonna hang out with Rachel for a while."

"K mama." Beth said. "Hi Rachie!"

Rachel laughed. Beth was the only one allowed to call her that. "Hi Beth. You look very pretty today."

"'Fank you." Rachel couldn't believe how adorable Beth was. Blonde hair, blue eyes, perfect little nose. A carbon copy of Quinn.

"Quinn she looks so much like you now. She's so cute."

"Oh thank you. She's got her daddy's mouth and ears but the rest is like me." She smiled adoringly at her daughter.

"How is Puck anyway? Haven't seen him around much."

"Oh he's good. He's been visiting his mom for the last week and a half. I think she won't let him leave." They both laughed. "I would've gone with him but she still hates me."

"That's awful. I don't what I would do if Finn's parents didn't like me."

"It would bother me normally, but then I remember how crazy Puck is and I figure he must get it from somewhere. Probably her." Quinn chuckled.

"Gamma cwazy." Beth said.

"Sweetie I told you never to repeat anything mama says."

Rachel laughed. "Yeah Beth, your mommy didn't really mean she was crazy." Rachel and Quinn exchanged a look and giggled.

"Mama I bored."

"Hey Beth, you wanna watch tv?" Rachel asked.

"Yeah!"

"Ok here's the remote. Do you know how to work it?"

"Yeah Daddy show me."

"Of course he did." Quinn rolled her eyes.

"She's so smart for her age." Rachel said about Beth.

"Another thing she got from me." Quinn chuckled.

Beth turned the television to Disney channel which was playing Finding Nemo. About halfway through the movie, Rachel got up to get a glass of water.

"You okay?" Quinn asked.

"Ugh. I feel nauseous again."

"Has this just been happening today?" Quinn asked.

"Well, I threw up a few weeks ago but then it went away. Today I've felt really weak and dizzy and I've puked twice."

"That doesn't sound like the result of greasy food."

Then Rachel felt a sudden sharp pain in her stomach. She gasped at the sensation. She felt like she'd been stabbed or something.

"Oh god! What is that!? It really hurts."

Then Beth screamed.

"Um. Rachel.."

"What?"

Quinn looked at Rachel, horrified.

"You're bleeding."


	2. Chapter 2

**Hey guys. So I wasn't sure if I could even finish this story. I've been really depressed, as I'm sure most of you have been too, and it was really difficult to finish this chapter. But personally I have been reading some fanfics and it's slightly comforting. So I thought I should try to keep going. I can't promise long chapters, and the next few will be angst filled, but I will try to keep writing, if not for you guys, then for Cory. Thanks for reading. (I promise by the end of this story, Finchel will be happy and together and everything else Finchel should be.)**

"Come here, lay down." Quinn said worriedly. "I'll call 911."

"I... I don't.. I don't understand, what's happening?" Rachel started crying.

"Rachie you ok?" Beth said. Rachel just started sobbing.

Quinn came back over and sat down next to Rachel. "The ambulance is going to be here soon, ok? You're gonna be fine. Everything's ok." Quinn tried to sound reassuring but just sounded uncertain and worried.

"I'm scared. I don't understand." Rachel sobbed.

"I know, it's ok. You're gonna be fine." Quinn kept chanting those words over and over, even though she wasn't quite sure she believed them herself.

"Finn. I need Finn." Rachel seemed to be in shock and could only form a few words at a time.

"I'll call him ok?" She called Finn and told him to go straight to the hospital as soon as he could. The two women sat there crying, just waiting for help to get there. Beth was not really aware of what was going on, just that her mom and friend were sad and that made her sad too. She went to them and hugged them both, hoping they would feel better. Just then the ambulance got there and the paramedics whisked Rachel away and rushed her to the hospital with Quinn and Beth by her side.

...

Finn didn't understand what was happening, all he knew was that something was wrong and he needed to get to Rachel right away. He pulled into the parking garage of the hospital and ran into the building. He got to the front desk and wasn't sure what to say, when he heard familiar crying behind him.

"Finn! Oh god, you're finally here. Rachel was freaking out earlier, she needs you. God she was bleeding everywhere, I didn't know what to do. And Beth was overwhelmed and I just wasn't sure how to handle all this and I freaked out a little, I'm sorry I didn't tell you more on the phone."

"Whoa whoa Quinn, slow down. What happened? What's wrong with her, did you say she was bleeding? How'd she get hurt?"

"I don't think she's the one that got hurt." Finn looked confused and Quinn just sighed sadly. "Just go find her. She needs you right now."

Finn went back up to the front desk and asked what room Rachel Berry was in, that he was her fiancé and needed to get to her right away. The nurse looked sad but pointed to the left hallway and told him it was the third room on the right.

He rushed into the room and found her sitting on the exam table in a hospital gown, looking terrified.

He went to her and hugged her tight. "Rachel. Baby, what happened? Are you hurt?"

"No. I mean I was, but.. I don't know. The doctor said they needed to run some tests first and then they would tell me what happened. I'm so scared."

Finn had no idea what was going on and was pretty scared himself but he knew he needed to be strong for Rachel. "It's ok babe. I'm right here. Everything will be fine." He rubbed her back in slow, soothing circles. She squeezed his hand and he kissed her temple. They weren't really sure why they were trying to comfort each other, but they just felt like it was necessary.

Then the doctor walked in with papers and charts and a devastated look on her face.

"Hi, I'm Dr. Breezewood, you must be Finn." She shook his hand weakly.

"Yeah. So what's wrong with Rachel? What are all those papers?"

"Finn, Rachel. I'm very sorry to say that I have some bad news for you."

The couple looked at each other, wondering what she was talking about. Worrying.

"Rachel, you've had a miscarriage."

Rachel froze. She didn't quite understand what she'd just been told.

"You were about 7 weeks pregnant. The baby's heart wasn't developing properly, and it failed this morning. The pain you felt this afternoon was labor, the baby trying to take the natural way out of your body. Nothing was damaged inside your body, which is good news."

Rachel sat there, staring at the floor, blinking silent tears away.

"I'm very sorry for your loss." And with that, the doctor left the room.

Finn stood there, trying to process what they'd just been told. Rachel had been pregnant. She was going to have a baby. They were going to have a baby. And now that baby was gone. He could feel a few of his own tears drip down his face onto his shirt. He looked over at Rachel who looked like she was about to break down.

"Rach."

"Don't." She sobbed. She wouldn't even look at him. She buried her face in her hands and just cried.

"I'm so sorry." He whispered. He went to her and wrapped his arms around her, despite her resistance. She pushed him away but he just came right back. She gave in after a moment and threw her arms around his neck, sobbing hysterically into his shoulder. He rubbed her back, not knowing what else to do. He didn't know how to handle this. He suspected it was 10 times worse for Rachel. But there was nothing either of them could do. Their baby was gone.

Minutes later, the couple was told they could go home. They left the room and Quinn stood up, hopeful. Finn just shook his head at her and she started crying again. They all went home in Finn's car and Rachel went straight to their room, locking the door behind her.

Quinn stopped Finn before he went inside.

"How far along was she?"

"7 weeks. Our baby was 7 weeks old."

"Finn if there's anything I can do,-"

"Thanks Quinn, but you can't do anything." Finn went inside and closed the door, feeling comfortable enough in his own home to finally let his tears fall. He dropped onto the couch and shoved his face into the pillow, letting out his frustration. He knew he should go comfort Rachel, but he just couldn't look at her right now. Not because he blamed her, he didn't, but he knew if he saw her he would just think about their little baby and he would have a meltdown.

He got up and got a beer out of the fridge. Or maybe it was 2 beers. Or 5. He didn't keep track. He just wanted to get out of his own head for a while, go somewhere less painful. He could hear Rachel's anguished sobbing coming from their bedroom. He wished he could help her, he really did. But he couldn't. He couldn't make it better by kissing her or laughing with her or telling her she was beautiful. Everything that usually made her smile would be useless right now. He didn't even know how to help himself feel better.

So he would let her cry. And he would cry a little too. A lot. And they would long to hold each other, even though they couldn't stand to look at one another right now.

Finn laid down on the couch, hoping by morning everything would be a little better. He hugged the pillow underneath him and shut his eyes tight. He dreamt about holding his baby that night.


	3. Chapter 3

**So here is chapter 3. I'm sorry about all the angst. That's just the way this story needed to go. It will end happily, I promise. Please keep reading and please review. I really need the motivation right now :)**

Finn woke up with a splitting headache. He could hear Rachel in the kitchen making the coffee she made every morning, mixing the fruits she ate for breakfast every day. But it felt different. It was the same as any other morning, but there was a cloud over them. They were both silently grieving. Devastated about losing something they didn't even know they had until they were gone.

Finn went in to kitchen to make some eggs. He figured Rachel wouldn't feel like making them this morning. She always thought about baby chicks when she made eggs. Thoughts about babies wouldn't help anything right now.

He went behind her and kissed the top of her head. She flinched but didn't say anything.

"Rachel."

"I don't want to talk."

"We need to."

"I have nothing to say."

Finn sighed. "Rach I know this is hard-"

"Hard? This is HARD? YOU HAVE NO IDEA FINN. I WAS THAT CHILD'S MOTHER AND I COULDN'T EVEN KEEP IT SAFE! THAT WAS MY ONE JOB AND I FAILED." She sobbed into her hand.

"Babe." He touched her shoulder but she pulled away.

"NO. JUST LEAVE ME ALONE. I just want to cry on my own for a while. CAN YOU JUST GIVE ME THAT?" She screamed at him as she ran back to their room, holding in her strangled cries until the door was shut. But he could still hear her. And it killed him.

He decided to watch some tv just to try to distract himself. He settled on ESPN and just let the commentators words go into his head and then straight out. He wasn't actually listening to what they were saying. He probably couldn't even tell you what sport was on or who was playing. All he could hear were his own thoughts shouting at him.

_You should've known she was pregnant, you live together you idiot._

_Why didn't you do anything?_

_Why aren't you comforting your fiancée who just lost your baby?_

_Why are you letting her push you away?_

_You would've been an awful father, that's why the baby died._

That last one kept replaying over and over and he couldn't stop the tears from overflowing.

He needed a drink.

He went to their door and couldn't hear anything, figuring Rachel probably fell asleep. He didn't want to wake her so he just grabbed his coat and left. He needed some alcohol and some guy time.

...

Finn sat at on a bar stool in a musty pub, telling Puck everything that had happened.

"I'm really sorry man. That's tough shit to go through. Quinn was pretty shaken up, I can't even imagine what Rachel must be going through. And you."

Finn stared at his glass, wishing the liquid would make the pain stop but it was just slightly dulled. He needed it to be erased, and asked for another shot.

"I just wish she would talk to me. She wouldn't even look at me this morning. She only came out one time, other than that she's just been locked up in our room. I just wish I could help her." Finn sighed. "I mean you should've seen her face when the doctor said it. It looked like she was being strangled or something. I've never seen her like this."

"Well you know how she gets when you eat meat, just an animal dying makes her sad. This was a human. A baby. It was inside her, dude. It's a big deal."

Finn scrunched his face. He didn't understand why any of this was happening. Especially to them. This wasn't how it was supposed to be. They were supposed to be happy. Maybe planning the wedding. Now he thinks she probably never wants to speak to him again.

"I just feel like she feels like it's my fault."

"Why would she think that? I mean there's nothing either of you could've done."

"I don't know man. Usually when she's upset she wants me close to her, comforting her. Now she won't even be in the same room with me." Finn frustratedly rubbed his stubbly face.

"You think maybe she blames herself? And she just doesn't want you to be mad at her, so she's avoiding you?"

Finn looked at his friend. "What makes you think that?"

Puck looked at his drink and sighed. "Quinn lost a baby about a year ago. She was about 6 weeks, and we knew about it. We were gonna wait to tell people. Then one night she wakes me up and tells me she's in pain. Went to the hospital, and that's that." He looked sad.

"Man, I had no idea, I'm sorry. So you're saying that's how Quinn felt? Like she blamed herself?"

"Yeah. But I told her, no way I mean she was sleeping, it wasn't something she did. Shit like that just happens sometimes. Nothing we can do about it."

"I guess Rach did say something about how it was her only job to protect the baby. Maybe she does feel guilty. How fast did Quinn get over it?"

"It's not something you get over man. It's just something you cope with. It doesn't go away. It just dulls after a while. Just give Berry some time. She'll be ok.

"Thanks man. For everything. But I still need another drink."

...

Finn stumbled into the apartment at about 1am, trying to be quiet because he knew Rachel was probably asleep. But then he saw the kitchen light was on.

"Where the hell have you been? You leave without saying anything and decide to finally show up in the middle of the night, apparently drunk, after I've been worrying all day? Why didn't you pick up your phone?" Rachel snapped at him.

"I...I don't..uh-"

"How could you be so selfish? I needed you and you just leave me here all alone so you can have a few drinks? Don't you think I might need a distraction? Don't you think maybe I would've liked to get out for a while?"

"Rach I'm sorry I-"

"You're sorry? YOU'RE SORRY? MAYBE YOU SHOULD'VE THOUGHT ABOUT HOW UPSET I'D BE TO WAKE UP AND FIND OUT THAT YOU JUST LEFT. God Finn this is not all about you ok? This is affecting me too, you have NO idea. BUT THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU GET TO JUST IGNORE IT AND WALK AWAY."

"GOD RACHEL I'M SORRY OK? I SHOULDN'T HAVE LEFT WITHOUT TELLING YOU. BUT I DON'T KNOW WHY YOU'RE YELLING AT ME, IT'S NOT MY FAULT. YOU'RE THE ONE THAT LOST THE DAMN KID." He didn't hear what he said until he saw Rachel lose her breath and take a step back. She looked like he'd slapped her in the face.

"Rach, I didn't mean that. Baby please-" He took a step towards her.

"No. Get away." She said backing away from him. Silent tears washed her face as she stared at him like he was the worst person in the world.

"Rachel-"

"NO. GET OUT NOW." She sobbed as she walked to him and blindly started hitting him on his back and chest and stomach and anywhere else her fists landed.

"OUT!" She screamed.

He was just outside the door when she said, "Don't come back." And she slammed the door, locking both locks.

Finn slid down the wall and sat outside their apartment. He didn't know how long he sat there crying but it was long enough that he knew she wasn't going to let him back in.

**Don't hate Finn, he's drunk off his ass. lol please review :)**


	4. Chapter 4

**So here's chapter 4. It's really just a filler. Chapter 5 will be longer, I promise. I'm trying to update as often as I can because I know a lot of fics have been abandoned, but I'm trying not to upload just a bunch of crap chapters so it takes me a few weeks to finish them. Please review and let me know what you think about the chapters, if they're any good, what you would change, or maybe how you would like for it to end. I have a basic idea of how this story will play out but not a true structure, which is another reason it takes so long to write. Anyway, hope you like this chapter. Please review! **

Finn wiped his face, stood up and knocked on the door next to his. It took a few minutes and another knock before Quinn came to the door with a blanket wrapped around her. Figures Puck would be too lazy to answer the door.

"Finn what the hell do you want? It's the middle of the night." She whispered harshly.

"Rachel kicked me out." He croaked. "Can I stay here tonight?"

Quinn gasped but stepped aside, letting him in. "Of course you can, come on in."

They walked into the main room and sat on the couch.

"What happened?"

"I don't wanna talk about it."

"Is it about the ba-"

"I said I don't want to talk about it!"

Quinn sighed and stood up, patting his shoulder. "I'll get you a blanket, you can sleep on the couch. I'm sorry we don't have a guest room."

"Oh it's fine. Your couch is better than the hallway." He smirked, almost in a sad way.

She turned around to look at him. "I'm sure everything will turn out fine. She loves you."

Quinn handed him the blanket she had pulled from the hall closet and said goodnight. She went into her and Puck's bedroom and grabbed her phone. She knew Rachel checked her phone first thing every morning.

~Finn's over here. We have a LOT to talk about. -Q

...

Rachel was too upset to sleep so she went to the kitchen, grabbed her favorite ice cream out of the fridge, and popped some popcorn. She thought about getting out a bottle of wine (or two) but decided she didn't want to be hungover when she and Quinn talked the next day. When the popcorn finished, she took her snacks into her bedroom and put Hello, Dolly! into the DVD player. She still couldn't believe her copy of Funny Girl had gone missing. She had a feeling Finn had something to do with it since she made him watch it with her every weekend and still every weekend he complained. Either way, she needed a Barbra fix so if she couldn't watch Fanny, she'd watch Ms. Dolly Levi, the next best thing.

A little while later, Rachel heard her phone go off and reached across the bed, almost falling off the side, to grab it. She figured it was Finn telling her to let him back in, and she was ready to release a string of profanities at him. Then she noticed the name.

Quinn Fabray

~Finn's over here. We have a LOT to talk about. -Q

She couldn't believe he had woken up their friends in the middle of the night to tell them what had happened. Rachel wasn't even quite sure what had happened, how could he think it was ok to go blabbing everything to their neighbors?

She threw her phone on the bedside table and plopped back on the bed, pulling the covers up to her face and rolling onto her stomach. She could smell Finn on the pillows beneath her and the scent caused her to start crying. She was furious about what he'd said but she also knew he was right. It was her fault. She was supposed to protect her innocent little baby, but she failed. She lost their child and she knew Finn would never forgive her. But it wasn't fair for him to say it to her face when she was still hurting so much.

She stuffed her face into the mattress and screamed for all she was worth. It helped a little so she did it again. And again. She was just so frustrated. She was so good at so many things, she guessed it only made sense that she would eventually be bad at something. She just wished she wasn't bad at being a mother. She wished she could be a better fiancée. She wished Finn didn't hate her. She fell asleep with tears running down her face.

...

Finn woke up a while later, a little confused by his surroundings. This wasn't his bed. Or his apartment. Then he remembered everything that happened and his heart started to ache. On top of that, his back hurt because Quinn and Puck's couch was not the best for sleeping on. This week just kept going further and further downhill and Finn wished he could go back in time and change everything. He wished he'd been more careful with Rachel, or that he could've seen the signs that she was pregnant so she could be more cautious. For a moment he wished he'd never given in to his desire for her in the first place so he'd still be in Lima, probably dating Cassandra July and starting to forget about Rachel. But he quickly shook that thought away. He couldn't live without Rachel. He wouldn't know what to do without her. She was his whole world.

Finn just didn't know how to fix this. He wanted to walk back into his apartment and forget that this ever happened. He wanted Rachel to kiss him goodmorning and start making her vegan breakfast and give him a dirty look when he started making eggs and bacon. He wanted to laze around and watch movies with her and they would argue about what to watch and that would eventually end in a tickle war. He wanted everything to go back to how it was a few days ago.

But that couldn't happen. Because everything was different now. There was no going back. He wasn't sure if Rachel would ever be same.

But he had to try. He had to find a way to make things ok again. He needed her in his arms again. He needed to comfort her and for her to comfort him. They could get through this together.

He laid back down and fell asleep thinking of all the things he needed to tell Rachel, thinking about how he was going to fix everything. How he was going to get his girl back.

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	5. Chapter 5

**So I know I haven't been updating very frequently and it's completely inconsistent. I've been depressed for obvious reasons and I just kind of lost the spark I had for this story. Not a lot of people are reading, and writing is a slow and painful process. My thoughts are jumbled and my plot ideas are barely stringing together but I'm trying to plan the rest of it. I'll update as often as I can. Please hang in there with me. Thank you so much for reading.**

Darkness. She was surrounded by a menacing abyss of unknowns. She wasn't sure where she was, or how she got there. All she knew was that she felt paralyzed by fear. The anxiety was consuming. She couldn't see anything around her. She was afraid that something was about to come out of the shadows and attack her in the most brutal manner, like you see in horror movies. A monster. A man in a mask with a chainsaw. Maybe a giant spider, as her phobia was so intense. But nothing came at her. She stood still, waiting for something to happen. Waiting for a way out of this place to reveal itself.

Then she heard a faint cry. It was almost silent at first, as quiet as a hummingbird's wings.

Then it grew louder. And louder. The volume ascended until it could rival the whirring of a weed-whacker. It was shrill and piercing and heartbreaking.

It was the crying of an infant. Rachel's baby. She started running. Sprinting as fast as her legs would carry her, attempting to find her child and save it from whatever horrors were tormenting it. It felt like she ran for days, constantly tripping over nothing as if something was grabbing at her feet trying to keep her in place, still unable to find the source of the crying. Finally, she saw a light. She picked up her wobbling legs and forced them to keep going. At last she made it to the light, which turned out to be coming through a doorway. Through that door, she saw her baby, lying on the ground, covered in blood. The child was screaming and thrashing around, causing more blood to pool beneath it. Rachel realized the blood was coming from the baby's head, where it appeared there was a large gash. Rachel gasped and started sobbing for her child. She tried to enter the room, hoping to pick the baby up and take it somewhere to be helped, but she couldn't get through the doorway. It was like there was some invisible barrier keeping her from crossing the threshold. She pounded on the invisible shield, trying to break through it, but that only caused her hands to break and start gushing blood. She screamed in pain and frustration. Who was doing this? Why wouldn't they let her help her baby? Why was she so weak, to where she couldn't even break into this room to save her child?

Suddenly she noticed Finn was standing in the corner of the room. How did he get in? Why wasn't he doing anything?

"FINN! FINN HELP HER! SAVE OUR BABY, PLEASE! DO SOMETHING!"

"I can't." He said calmly.

"What are you talking about?! You're right there, go over to her! HELP HER!"

"I can't Rachel. You have to. You're her mother." He said staring into her eyes. She hadn't noticed before that his were pitch black.

"But I can't get in! Please Finn, do something please!" She sobbed hysterically into the door frame. She felt so helpless.

"Rachel, there's nothing I can do. You are her mother. You have to save her, or she'll die." He said, his voice flattened in monotony.

"BUT I CAN'T. PLEASE JUST HELP HER FINN, PLEASE!"

"If you won't do anything, then I guess she has to go." He gave Rachel one last horrible grimace before walking over to their daughter and crushing her head with his foot.

"NO!" Rachel screamed. She shot up in bed, shaking and covered in sweat. She looked around the dark room and realized the terrifying vision that was just playing in her mind was just that, all in her mind. She didn't know if it was the caffeine from her nightly cup of tea that caused her to dream up that horrific scene, or if it was just guilt. Guilt about losing her baby, guilt about kicking Finn out. Maybe she had been a bit harsh. But then again, so had he. Thinking about his drunken words to her the night before caused her to tear up. She knew he would never be able to forgive her.

Rachel looked at the clock and saw it was almost 6 a.m. so she decided to just get up and start her day. She certainly didn't want to go back to sleep and see her dead baby girl on the floor again. She wondered if the child she'd lost really was a girl. Now she would never know.

She walked into the kitchen, phone in hand, and started fixing a bowl of yogurt with fresh blueberries. She had traded her vegan diet for a vegetarian one when she was told by one of her dance teachers that she would need some more muscle if she hoped to ever dance on Broadway. Dancing wasn't her main goal but it came with the territory. She needed to be a true triple threat if she wanted to land any good roles. She ate things like yogurt and cheese, peanut butter, things with lots of protein, things she knew didn't necessitate killing animals to obtain. She still refused to eat eggs.

Eggs. That's what Finn ate for breakfast every day. Rachel wondered what he was feeling right now, what he wanted to do about all this. She feared the inevitable conversation that was the source of their tension. She was pretty sure he would want her to move out. It would be awkward to live with your ex-fiancée. But where would she go?

...

Finn woke to the sound of sizzling meat and the smell of cinnamon. Quinn was hurrying around the kitchen, gathering plates and silverware. She set the table and placed a large pile of food right in the middle. Finn got up and walked toward her, wiping the sleep out of his eyes.

She noticed him approaching and smiled slightly at him. "Morning bed head," she chuckled, "I made pancakes and bacon. Come get it while it's hot. I'll go try to wake up the lazybugs." She said as she headed toward the bedrooms of her husband and daughter.

Finn chuckled at the way she flitted around the apartment, without a care in the world. Quinn was always so bright and happy. Never had a single complaint, save for the occasional comment about Puck's tendency to use crude language around Beth. Quinn was the kind of person that would do anything for anyone without argument or hesitation, which is probably one of the reasons he was in her apartment right now. If Puck had answered the door last night, Finn would most likely be stretching stiff muscles he'd acquired from sleeping in the hallway outside his apartment. But Quinn answered the door, so here he was in their cozy residence, eating a nice hot breakfast, because that's just the kind of friend Quinn was. Not to mention she probably felt sympathetic for him and his situation.

Finn heard heavy steps and accompanying grunts coming down the hallway. He hoped Quinn had already explained why he was here so he wouldn't have to tell the whole story again to Puck. He knew he wouldn't be able to talk about it without crying and Puck would never let him live that down.

"You alright man?" Puck asked as he trudged into the kitchen.

"Yeah, I guess."

"Don't cry Hudson. That's pathetic."

"PUCK. Knock it off." Quinn said sternly as she carried a very tired looking Beth toward the table and strapped her into her high chair. As soon as Beth was settled in her seat, her head dropped onto the tray that was connected to her chair. Puck leaned over to the girl and swiped blades of blonde hair from her face.

"Bethy. Wake up. Time for breakfast." He whispered.

"No." She moaned. "Tide."

"I know you're tired, but I bet you're hungry too. Mommy made pancakes, don't you want some?"

That got the toddler's attention. She sat up straight as an arrow when her mother walked by with more cakes and a glass of hot syrup.

"That's my girl." Puck said. Finn laughed. Beth may have gotten her mother's looks but she was basically a mini Puck when it came to personality and appetite.

"It's a wonder I can even get the food to the table when these two are around. I constantly catch Puck trying to sneak food from the stove while it's still cooking. But then I get the satisfaction of watching him burn himself." Quinn looked at her husband and giggled.

Puck stuck his tongue out at her.

"MAMA. PAYCAKES!" Beth shouted.

"Hey little missy, we don't yell indoors." Beth sank in her seat.

"Sowwy mama," she said, "Paycake now?"

"Here you go." Quinn put a pancake on Beth's plate and poured the syrup for her.

"Fwinny where's aunt Rachie?" Beth asked.

Finn cleared his throat uncomfortably. "Uh, she's over at our apartment."

"Den why you here?"

"Um.."

"Beth, Finn and Rachel are just kinda sad right now so he wanted to spend some time with us and give Rach a little alone time." Puck explained.

"Why dey sad?" Beth asked, her big blue eyes glistening with innocent curiosity.

"Sweetheart, Rach and I lost someone really important to us. We just miss them, that's all." Finn gave her a sad half smile.

"Oh. I sowwy. I hope dey come back."

"Beth sshh." Quinn panicked at her daughter's unintentionally tragic words.

"It's fine Quinn, she doesn't understand. It's alright." Finn assured her.

"Puck, could you take Beth and go get her dressed."

Puck gave her a look that said he understood, and took the little girl away.

"So Finn, what actually happened? Why'd Rachel make you leave?" Quinn asked.

Finn sighed. "You're gonna be so mad at me if I tell you."

"Look, I know she wouldn't do it for no reason. I get that you did something bad. Just tell me what happened."

Puck then walked into the room. "I told Beth she could pick out her own clothes, so that should give us about 20 minutes while she tries on everything she owns. I wanna hear the story. What'd you do bro?"

Finn looked his friends in the eyes and told them the story that he was so ashamed of.

**Please review! :)**


	6. Note

**Hey guys. Sorry this isn't an update. I got kind of discouraged because I got zero reviews for the last chapter. I'm not sure if anyone has actually been reading :/ Personally, I haven't been reading much fanfiction lately so I understand that other people probably aren't either. But if you are reading this, thank you for sticking with me. I really appreciate it. But maybe you could just do one thing for me? Please leave a review on this or any other chapter and just give me your thoughts. Do you want me to continue this story? Is anyone actually reading? Anything you would like to see happen in the story in addition to the main plot? If I get some feedback, I'll start writing again. It might take a few weeks to plan but I will post if you want me to. And I promise this story has a happy ending, despite the first few chapters ;) Finchel Forever right?**

**Thanks for reading,**

**Abbey (your author) :) **

**ps. Also maybe you could recommend my stories to your friends ;D**


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